The dead horse has been kicked one more time. I was reading an article about “why can’t a successful black women find a man” and I think this article really hit the nail on the head. Here are five points from the article: (Click here for the full article.)

Below is the text of the article in part:

1. It Takes Two to Tango. This ”epidemic” is not about black women. If black women are single and looking for love, then guess what, so are black men.

2. Smoke and Mirrors. There seems to be an agenda being pushed here. Somebody somewhere doesn’t want to see strong black family units. Remember a few years ago, the hype was that all black men were in prison, and then it was all black men were on the down low, and then it was most young black adults had AIDS. Now, it’s successful black women can’t find a husband. If the media can convince black women that there are no black men out there or that they don’t want them, black women will begin to play that out in their lives. Sisters start feeling hopeless and viewing their men as trifling while brothers are left feeling rejected, unvalued and angry. How can a functional relationship ever emerge from this?

3. ”This week he’s mopping floors/Next week it’s the fries/So, stick by his side.” Kanye suggests women seeing a man’s potential in his hit, ”Gold Digger.” Are women’s standards too high to start with? Izrael says that women should be the type of person they’re looking for. In other words, be realistic. Many women are looking for the next Jay-Z, but are they the next Beyoncé? Reid understands the idea of dating men with potential, but she stressed that it’s easier for a younger woman than for a woman in her 30s or 40s.

4. What you talkin’ ’bout, Willis? Women and men don’t communicate enough. Women should use their skill set to get men to talk more. Possibly having small conversation parties where men and women can engage in dialogue.

5. Have faith. Check out Psalm 84:11, Proverbs 18:22 and Proverbs 31:30. There are things that both single men and women need to learn, prepare and fix before becoming a mate. (No point in rushing to get out of the ”single box” just to put yourself in the ”divorced box.”) The job of a single person is to wait patiently, pursue dreams, love friends and family, go on fabulous vacations and be friendly when their mate does surface. There is a time for everything. And for many black men and women, the time has just not arrived

I think the last point is key. Either we watch too many movies or fall for the hype, but being in a relationship, although a beautiful thing, is a great responsibility – you have the charge of thinking and caring for someone in most (if not all) of your life decisions. Many of us still have a lot to learn about being selfless and considerate. I count myself amongst those many. So my last kick to horse’s rotting corpse is to enjoy life for all the blessing – wonderful family, friends, and youth. Soon will be your turn to commit, and grow up – but for now life is good.