Change is a bitter sweet. It is the unknown that causes anxiety, but it is monotony that leads to the longing.
The big change for me was moving from NY to MD for school. For a while, I was stuck in the NY hustle, working hard and playing late. Although I could have continued in that cycle for years with no complaints, I wondered what life could be like with more opportunity. When I made the decision to start back at school, I thought that the cycle was soon to be broken – the prospect of school brought new faces with unknown names, a weath of material yet to be unearthed in massive text books, and new challenges to overcome at the end of each semester. What I never expected was a new form of rote routine – but that is what I got:
wake up, rush to school, go to the library for some reading, go to my regular scheduled class, back to my seat (still warm) in the library, last class, homeward bound, sleep – repeat.
But looking back at the starting line at this point on my journey, it is amazing how, in the mist of routine, I have made great changes. Its like putting a dirty shirt in the washing machine only to come out refreshed and renewed. It is not the “washing cycle” that does the work. But for the added ingredient (the “cleaning agent”), it would be the same dirty shirt, just wet.
In all of our lives, we have those added ingredients in the mist of our life cycle that renews and revives our spirit. It may not be so easy to spot (no pun intended), but for some, it is a special person that we meet on our journey that imparts knowlegde – a situation that challenges our way of thinking – a tragedy that is experienced one day and having the greatest belly laugh the next.
I know I have my “cleaning agents.” One more year left of school and counting, before this life cycle is complete – I have a few stains left on this shirt but I hope that after this cycle, my bold colors don’t fade.
Martin Luther King said in his “I Have A Dream” Speech:
But there is something that I must say to my people, who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice: In the process of gaining our rightful place, we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again, we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force…I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight; “and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together.”…Let freedom ring…
We all know the saying, “the truth will set you free.” But what many don’t know is that quote is taken straight from the Good Book (John 8:32). So what is the truth? John 14:6 answers our questions – “Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” John 1: 17 says “For the law was given by Moses, [but] grace and truth came by Jesus Christ.”
I know that this might sound quite abstract. To break it down – there are only two kinds of people (in the spiritual sense) – free and slave. Those that are free are free from death and sin. Romans 8:2 says “For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death.” The way Christ redeemed mankind from death is almost like a plot of the best ever epic movie. By Christ dying on the cross, tasting death, and then resurrecting himself from the dead, and ascending into heaven – anyone who believes in Him will experience the same thing – death, resurrection, and ascension to be with the Father.
To be free from sin is another blessing we get when we believe and follow the ways of Christ. Sin is defined as “the transgression of the law..” of God (1 John 3:4). Even when we “that knoweth to do good, and doeth [it] not, to him it is sin.” (James 4:17).
When we make the excuse “I can’t help it, I was born this way,” we are speaking the absolute truth. We are all born into a fallen state, where we cannot and do not desire to do the things that please God. It is difficult to fathom how holy and righteous God is. So we naturally and instinctively go after the things that are pleasing, those things that satiate our human desires. Like Marcus Garvey was sold for a bag of rice, we were sold for a piece of “fruit” from the tree of knowledge. Esau sold his birthright to his brother Jacob for a bowl of bean soup. And we sell our soul for vanities, sexual pleasures, money, and fame. The same slave mentality has permeated our mind and souls since the dawning of human existence (thanks to brother Adam and sista Eve). Paul writes, “For we know that the law is spiritual: but I am carnal, sold under sin.” (Rom. 7:14). Although when we are set free from this bondage of sin, which is being compelled to follow after our physical impulses, it doesn’t mean that these things don’t feel, taste, look good even after being set free. It is our mind that is set free, our bodies are still “fallen”. Paul says “But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.” (Rom. 7:23)
It is a cycle, we are in bondage to sin and we are a slave to death. But it is through sin that we are destined to death. “The wages of sin is death.” (Rom. 6:23). But we are given power even over sin and death through Christ. In this way, although we make mistakes, we are not compelled nor do we love sin. We don’t have a mind to sin. As an extreme example, most of us know people that do evil things, such as molest a child or go on a killing spree, we say, “how can that person do such a thing?” I believe it is purely a problem of the mind. Their minds have been set on doing evil, and they even enjoy evil. Although those are extreme examples, likewise, there are things that we do that may be seen as completely acceptable in the eyes of man but is reprehensible to the Most High (many examples in the bible). While we live in this earth, we will not be able to be free from those human desires of the flesh. But to be truly transformed and free from the offenses of sin, we must have a changed mind. “For to be carnally minded [is] death; but to be spiritually minded [is] life and peace.” (Rom: 8:6).
And in the words of MLK, if we truly believe in Christ and his resurrection, we too will be free at last.
John 8:36: “If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.”
I heard a musician/performer once say, “why do people keep asking me when I’m going to put out a new album when the mutherf*ckers never bought the albums I already made? If they would buy those albums, it would be just as good as new.” For the last few days I have taken a break from my music voyaging and have retired to enjoying some of the oldies but goodies. Still in my retro mood, who knows when I will come back to the future.
The dead horse has been kicked one more time. I was reading an article about “why can’t a successful black women find a man” and I think this article really hit the nail on the head. Here are five points from the article: (Click here for the full article.)
Below is the text of the article in part:
1. It Takes Two to Tango. This ”epidemic” is not about black women. If black women are single and looking for love, then guess what, so are black men.
2. Smoke and Mirrors. There seems to be an agenda being pushed here. Somebody somewhere doesn’t want to see strong black family units. Remember a few years ago, the hype was that all black men were in prison, and then it was all black men were on the down low, and then it was most young black adults had AIDS. Now, it’s successful black women can’t find a husband. If the media can convince black women that there are no black men out there or that they don’t want them, black women will begin to play that out in their lives. Sisters start feeling hopeless and viewing their men as trifling while brothers are left feeling rejected, unvalued and angry. How can a functional relationship ever emerge from this?
3. ”This week he’s mopping floors/Next week it’s the fries/So, stick by his side.” Kanye suggests women seeing a man’s potential in his hit, ”Gold Digger.” Are women’s standards too high to start with? Izrael says that women should be the type of person they’re looking for. In other words, be realistic. Many women are looking for the next Jay-Z, but are they the next Beyoncé? Reid understands the idea of dating men with potential, but she stressed that it’s easier for a younger woman than for a woman in her 30s or 40s.
4. What you talkin’ ’bout, Willis? Women and men don’t communicate enough. Women should use their skill set to get men to talk more. Possibly having small conversation parties where men and women can engage in dialogue.
5. Have faith. Check out Psalm 84:11, Proverbs 18:22 and Proverbs 31:30. There are things that both single men and women need to learn, prepare and fix before becoming a mate. (No point in rushing to get out of the ‘’single box” just to put yourself in the ”divorced box.”) The job of a single person is to wait patiently, pursue dreams, love friends and family, go on fabulous vacations and be friendly when their mate does surface. There is a time for everything. And for many black men and women, the time has just not arrived
I think the last point is key. Either we watch too many movies or fall for the hype, but being in a relationship, although a beautiful thing, is a great responsibility – you have the charge of thinking and caring for someone in most (if not all) of your life decisions. Many of us still have a lot to learn about being selfless and considerate. I count myself amongst those many. So my last kick to horse’s rotting corpse is to enjoy life for all the blessing – wonderful family, friends, and youth. Soon will be your turn to commit, and grow up – but for now life is good.