The hardest thing about any journey is getting to the starting line. So now I have finally reach “my mark”. After a conversation with my sister today, I realized that this is a commonly overlooked step when we are seeking change. When one door closes or a road leads to a dead-end, instead of looking for another door or starting down a new road, we stand still and ask futile questions: why is the door closed, if I stand here long enough will it will reopen, why didn’t I know there was a dead-end before I went down this path. Like the mouse in the maze that keeps going into the same blocked-off corner…. Okay, well you see what I’m getting to. What does it all boil down to you ask? FEAR – fear of the unknown, or that you may reach another dead-end after a long and exhausting trek. The journey, the process, is where we learn the most – not at the finish line – that is just the affirmation. And what if the dead-end is the finish line – just without the cheering fans and the red ribbon.

I guess I am getting ahead of myself; I am still at my starting line, waiting for the gun shots.

The song in my ear right now:

“Aim to be strong, fiddle with an arrow, the shot is too long, precision is not in my marrow, what’s wrong with me contentedly singing my own song but not heard the music, the writings’ on the wall, but i took the scenic route and i can’t call the number’s in the pocket of my jeans through it all, talking the talk, running before i walk, missing the meaning, plotting the course, while i’m stuck at the bend, penchant for rocky terrain and dead ends, wind myself up just to unravel into a great, mountain of when. should’ve is a place i sometimes frequent yet they know my face better at i can’t but if there’s a wait i will is close by and when stays open late, the menu is vast. Predicting the loss, before i begin, so it don’t cut too deep when i don’t win, not like it’s working for this clever lark, i can recite the story behind every scar, predicting the loss before i begin so it don’t cut too deep when i don’t win, i hate it when i’m right, much rather be wrong, i’d rather be wrong. Plotting the course, while i’m stuck at the bend, penchant for rocky terrain and dead ends, wind myself up just to unravel into a great, mountain of when”

— Amel Larrieux – Mountain of When

listen: http://b3.s3.p.quickshareit.com/files/10mountainofwhen693cf.mp3